Savannah

Imagine if you will.  A little over 8 years ago, when my in-laws lived in Enterprise they were doing foster care, I kinda got into it and did what's called "tracking".  That means I kept track of some of the foster kids.  I visited them, did stuff with them, "baby sat" them, was the one that was there for them if they needed anything.  There were a couple families here in Enterprise that did foster care, so I took care of a couple of the girls.  There was one named Savannah, oh dear Savannah.  How do I explain her, she just didn't get it.  You had to explain things to her A LOT!  I don't remember a ton about that experience.  She was the first girl I tracked, it was fun.  I loved her, she was just, well she just didn't get it sometimes.  She ended up leaving and I tracked some more and life went on.  Fast forward to around May 2003.  I was pregnant with Jack, and I was at Womens conference.  Brenden was in Washington state for 6 months.  That's when he was training to go to Iraq, but didn't end up going.  Anyways, womens conference.  I got a phone call from DCFS, that's the foster care people, they asked if I wanted to have a foster kid.  Not really!  It was Savannah, and she's changed a lot, she's been in this special school and she's better now and more calm.  Okay, I'll give it a try.  It was hard because I had Ryan who was one year old and I was pregnant, and no husband.  It wasn't too bad, just could have been easier.  I felt really bad for her, she didn't trust me or anyone really.  She had gone to so many different homes, she didn't feel loved or wanted.  I really wanted to change that.  I didn't want her to have to move again.  As hard as I tried to help her feel loved and wanted, she wouldn't believe me.  I don't blame her, being in foster care has to be hard!  She kept saying she wanted to be a part of our family, but she wouldn't participate with the family in anything.  She lied to me all the time, and was an AWESOME manipulator.  Just glad I live in a small town, where I know most everyone, and there are a lot of eyes around watching for me.  I got a couple phone calls telling me where she was.  Anyways....I'm hazy on the details, because I thought Brenden was in Washington, but this particular night he was home, whatever.  We had gone to a football game at the high school.  Like I said I don't remember exactly what happened, but I know Savannah was off with her Mexican boyfriend (she has a HUGE thing for Hispanics).  She lied to me and told me she was going to the bathroom, and went off with her boyfriend instead.  I think Brenden saw her, something happened there but can't remember what.  I ended up taking her in my car with Ryan, we were going home.  We were fighting and yelling.  She was calling me a lier, I was calling her the same.  I hated it because Ryan was in the car witnessing this huge fight.  I got as far as the library, like a block and a half away from the high school, and Savannah got out of my car.  She took off running.  I remember it was cold that night, and she didn't have a coat on, she may have been wearing shorts too.  I looked for her for about an hour or so, I couldn't find her any wear.  I called DCFS and told them I was done.  I know I shouldn't have, I was being selfish, I had to think of myself and my family.  I needed to focus on me and my kids, instead of worrying about a teenager.  I felt like I was too close to her age to act like I was her mother.  I didn't think my kids should have to deal with that.  Sorry :(  As bad as things were when she left, and I had hard feelings toward her for quite awhile, she still calls me every once in a blue moon to say hi.  I haven't talked to her since before I got pregnant with Cole, so like over 3 years.  Guess who called me not to long ago, yup.  She's so funny, she just calls to literally say "Hi".  But I love her and glad that she can feel comfortable enough to call me.  I must have done or said something right.  She's married with 2 kids now, she says shes doing really good, I'm happy for her.