Life Update

Well, I don't know if my eye is acting up again.  I'm just noticing that the vision in my left eye (that's my problem eye, for now) isn't that great.  I went in, well I guess it's been longer than I thought, about 3 months ago to my regular eye doctor to get an eye check up so I could order me some contacts.  He said my eye looked fine, just that it looked like a battle field after an awful fight.  The hard thing right now is that if I go to my eye doctor and I have to go back to the specialist, I can't afford it.  It's like $200 a visit to the specialist, Brenden and myself have no insurance.  I've been putting off going to my regular eye doctor, because I'm afraid he's going to tell me I have to go to the specialist, and I'm not going to be able to go.  I've fasted, and I do have faith that the Lords will be done, but it's just gonna really suck if His "will" is for me to loose my sight in my left eye :(  Trials make us grow stronger, right. 
I've been talking to my mom and maybe others about this, but thought it a good idea to put it in my journal/blog, so I can remember how I'm feeling right now.  A couple weeks ago I gave a lesson on coming to know Christ.  It's hard sometimes when we think we are alone, and that no one cares about us.  I've always known my Heavenly Father is there for me, but sometimes you just need a hug, and he can't do that.  But he can, I experienced this two weeks ago.  I knelt down to pray to start a fast for my eye, as I was praying I could feel the spirit so strong, I felt like He was just pouring His spirit into me.  To me, that was the best hug I could have ever gotten. 
I feel like we all have trials in our life for a reason.  There is a reason for EVERYTHING!  There is a plan for each and every one of us.  Heavenly Father throws things in our path, and he wants to see how we are going to deal with them, how are we going to act.  If someone is hurting us or our family, are we going to hurt them back, or are we going to forgive and forget.  I know it's not easy, but every time I feel like my life is hard, I always think "he never said it was going to be easy, he only said it was going to be worth it."  Life sucks sometimes, but how are we going to act to those trials the Lord throws at us?
The other day when I was praying, a thought came into my mind, it was a feeling I guess.  I imagine it's how a missionary feels when it's almost time for him to come home.  The feeling of excitement, that you're finally going to be HOME, with your family, where you feel safe, and loved, HOME!  I hope and pray that I have a LONG time before it's my time to go, but I am so excited to go back "home" to be with my family, where I feel save, and loved, HOME!  I want to be able to do the things now that will help me get back there. 
My mom, what can I say about my mother, I love her.  Sometimes she comes off really "preachy" to me though, and it's hard to deal with.  Months ago she started to try to memorize "The Living Christ", and she encouraged (preached to) us to do the same.  "Whatever" was my thoughts on that subject.  Anyways, we had New Beginnings for Young Womens last Sunday, and the Bishop got up and encouraged us leaders to pass off our Personal Progress.  So, I started.  I got a new book, and in the back of it is The Family Proclamation to the World, and The Living Christ.  I thought, 'I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna memorize the Living Christ'.  I started, and later realized it can be passed off as one of my 10 hour projects.  I can't believe I almost have half of it memorized already.  As I've been memorizing it, I've come to know my Savior just a little bit better.  It's sad to say, but I don't think I've read it more than a handful of times since it was published, January 1, 2000.  So so sad, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that hasn't read it either.  Wish me luck on the rest of it!