Sparrow

I am having a really rough morning, to explain I have to rewind.  We went up north to visit my in-laws for the 24th, when we got back our cat Sparrow was in our closet under my dresser.  I found out that it couldn’t use it’s back legs anymore.  I don’t know how long it had been like this, I figure a car or something must have hit it.  He hasn’t really moved anywhere, kinda just stayed in the same spot.  I guess he moved a couple times, couldn’t get in the litter box so he’s just been going where he is.  At first he started eating a little bit, then I think he gave up.  I kept hoping he would get better, the thought of having to put him down just hurt.  Maybe it was me being selfish to not do it earlier.  I just kept HOPING!  This morning my dad came and got him.  It was so hard to put him in that box and say good bye, knowing what was going to happen to him.  I have had cats disappear before, and it’s not like I just absolutely loved this cat or anything.  It’s the longest a cat has ever stayed with us, and…….I know it was the good thing to do, he was dying and probably in pain, it’s just so hard!  When I brought Sparrow to the door for my dad to take away, I couldn’t help crying.  I did love that cat, and I will miss him, I just need to get through today, tomorrow will be better.