Catchin’ up

First of all I just need to say that Facebook is a bad thing, it’s making me not do anything on my blog!  Instead of taking the time to post on my blog, I just say something really quick on Facebook and call it good.  Thanks just not good enough!  First of all my niece Kelcey had a baby girl this week!  Her name is Olivia Tyler, supper cute!  I’ve seen pictures and I think she looks just like Kelcey when she was a baby.  I miss her. 
Brenden and Ty talked me into taking the EMT classes, they started last Tuesday.  Every Tuesday and Thursday, and every other Saturday.  The first class I felt really stupid, I  never considered myself “smart” when I was in high school, I guess I just have a low self esteem of myself in that aspect.  It didn’t help that I felt like I was surrounded my people that had already been in the medical field.  I don’t know what any of the stupid medical words mean, I don’t know anything about most drugs we talk about.  We have a huge book and our classes only go until the middle of January, so we have to cram a ton of stuff in, in only 2 1/2 months!  I’m glad I have Brenden to lean on.  He’s helped me not be so stressed.  I figure I’ll learn what I can, but most of what I’m, going to learn is the on job experience.  I think the classes are getting better.
I still love my job in the lunch room!  I just feel bad because half the time I don’t know what to do,  Wish someone would just tell me, I guess I just need to figure it out for myself.
Last Sunday I had to give the lesson in Young Womens, it was on Loving yourself and others.  I think the hardest thing to do is to love yourself.  That week I was having the hardest time doing that too.  One day I seriously just wanted life to be over!  Anything has got to be better than this!  Usually when I start feeling like that I talk myself out of hating life, and reminding myself of all the things I have to live for, most importantly my kids, Last wee I didn’t care!  Needless to say, I’m still here, I don’t think I’d ever have the guts to actually do anything about ending my life early, but sometimes we just have those days.  They are getting better though, thank Heavens.  It made for a good lesson, I thought.  Not that I told the girls that I wanted my life to be over, but how sometimes we do feel like that. 
Today when we were sitting in sacrament meeting Ryan leaned over to me and said “mom, will you give me $1 if I bear my testimony?”  I can’t tell you how excited and shocked I was!  First of all because he only asked for $1 and second because he seemed like he really wanted to go bear his testimony!  He almost chickened out, but he did get up there, I was so proud!